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    Improving Self Esteem & Self Confidence

    Updated: Mar 25, 2019

    Self Esteem and Self Confidence similar but quite different

    Self Esteem/Self Confidence ... While many think that self esteem and self confidence are similar if not the same, they are actually quite different.


    Self esteem refers to how we feel about ourselves ... our self worth. Since birth, how we see ourselves has been shaped by how people have treated us and the myriad of experiences and situations we have faced. Do we feel good about ourselves or do we feel ‘not good enough’? Is there positive or negative self talk?


    Self confidence on the other hand refers to how we feel about our abilities towards a specific situation. This can vary greatly from one situation to the next. You may sound good singing in the shower, however, singing for the first time in front of a large crowd, your self confidence could plummet. Self confidence is about believing in your ability to be successful.


    One may have healthy self esteem and still lack self confidence about a situation, for example, how to set up the new television, multi-media and surround sound system in the lounge room. Or one could have low self esteem feeling worthless and unloved and yet know they are good at doing certain things like their job, or are good with numbers.


    We can improve low self esteem (sense of worth) and lack of self confidence (ability regarding a situation). Improving one will have a flow on effect on the other. Working on both is better.


    Ways of improving Self Esteem:

    • Flip any negative self talk/inner voice to its positive version. This is one of the most powerful ways to improve. Replace I should/must/can’t ... to ... I choose/want/going to. Self talk can raise vibrations or pull them down. Become aware and choose the words which empower you. Another word to remove when describing yourself is ‘just’. For example, a common one I hear is ‘I’m just a mum’, change it to ‘I’m a mum’ or ‘I’m a wonderful mum’ and feel good about it.

    • When someone says something complimentary to you, don’t dismiss it ... accept it and say thank you to the person.

    • Remember who YOU are. Journal what you like about yourself and what you do well, for example, caring, helpful, organised. Focus on the positives and what you can change, and bring them into your being and continue adding to them. Everyone is different, focus on you and not others.

    • Include fun in your day by doing things that you enjoy. Balance is important.

    • Celebrate who you are and the progress you are making.

    • Start shifting your focus from people who criticise and bring you down to those who make you feel better about yourself.

    • Set clear boundaries between yourself and others about what you will and will not do.

    Ways of improving Self Confidence:

    • Do the work and be prepared. It’s by learning and practising and repeating, that we prepare ourselves for the task ahead. To learn to play a musical instrument includes lots of practice. The more we are prepared, the more confident we are.

    • Small steps. Set achievable targets at first. It’s best to break big goals into smaller bits as the more you achieve, the more confident you become.

    • It’s about doing your best ... and that is good enough. Mistakes happen to everyone, that’s life. Breathe, learn and move on.

    Gratitude ties all this together. Be grateful for the little things (and on the harder days it’s even more important). Remember, the more we become aware of the positive changes, the more positive changes occur.


    Note: Article originally published in Temple Magazine (June 2017) - Click HERE to read

    By Julye-Amber RzoskaIf you found this article helpful please feel free to share it by using the direct link to this article and acknowledging the author.  


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